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As kind as I am and as much fun as I have in my life I can honestly say, I am not an excellent model for people who are forgiving.  Also,  I have a semi-good memory which hopefully begin to fade as I age and look more like my grandmother.

Back to this forgiveness thing.  I have forgiven so many people in my life who have done awful things to me: betrayed my trust, put their hands on me out of anger, said hurtful things to me, ending friendships (without warning), and my favorite chose to believe someone else with false motives instead of trusting their friend (ME!).  I forgave people based on the idea that God is a forgiving God hence we should follow suit, right?

I am not a saint nor am I sinner thus I struggle.  I struggle with accepting sane people who openly hurt me.  In that moment they may have thrown caution to the wind and did whatever they did but I know that they aren't stupid hence they knew what they were doing without a doubt and didn't care about the result whether it be great or harmful.

I am not sure of the reason but I hyper vigilant of my heart.  Some might say I am a bitch or cold but I am not, I just enjoy playing it safe with emotions to avoid the pain of others hurting me or playing my emotions to their benefit.

Yet, I know this isn't life and this isn't a way to live.  It is damn near impossible to live in fear and frequently rubbing someone's mistakes into their face (even though it feels so damn good sometimes.)

My point is this as we grow (old & in size please let me shrink) I am hopeful I will master the art of forgiving and forgetting.  I would like to live my life in color without fear, doubt, worry, and pain.  I am hopeful one day I will get this thing down packed. Until then I just try.

There is no harm in making mistakes as long as you LEARN from them and keep it moving :)

Love ya!

I am certain that a year ago if you asked me where I saw myself I could have given you a crisp and confident answer.  Now, I am certain that each day is a gift and should be treated as if that tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Not to say, I don't want certain things to happen: kids, smaller waist, marriage, smaller boobs, a home, SMALLER BOOBS (please God), and essentially peace.  I know that pain can cause you to loose sight of what once was there but if you let go of the pain you might be able to see what you missed or you will see your path in a more luminous light.

I am saying all this because the future is unpredictable yet exciting.  If we knew who would be here tomorrow I am certain we wouldn't hug and love as hard as we do today.

This post isn't intended for you to dwell on mistakes of the past or those that have left you (by choice or circumstance).  I would like for all of you to cherish tomorrow if you wake up. Be grateful for those that love you and those you have loved.

Each day is different and growing is essential.

Love ya!

I remember being such a heartbreaker in grade school with my braces and head gear. I couldn't keep the boys away (there needs to be a sarcasm font). Yes I had braces and head gear (only at night)! You have to get me drunk to see the picture to confirm the alleged existence of pictures confirming the head gear.


Anyway, fast forward to High School I still had the braces, was less awkward (I still can't dance but the doesn't stop me from busting out my moves) yet there were guys who liked me.  I have a appreciation for earlier boyfriends who managed not to be complete jerks years down the line.
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